Considering Divorce? You Need an Exit Plan!
By Nancy Fagan, "The Divorce Reporter"
The Divorce Help Clinic (.com)
Considering leaving your spouse? You need a solid exit plan. Pre-divorce-planning involves carefully planning out often-overlooked aspects of your life before you announce you’re leaving. In 85 percent of divorces, it is the wife who initiates the divorce. Whether man or woman, if you are in this situation, starting a plan of action now is absolutely necessary. Just because your wife/husband wants everything, including the children, it does not necessarily mean that’s what has to happen. Learn how to get a fair settlement by playing smart and doing certain things that will help your situation tremendously.
Divorce planning is needed for both men and women. With that said, if you’re a woman, preparing in advance is even more important. In fact, most women are in a worse place financially after it’s all said and done. With this said, you don’t have to become a statistic. You have the power to come out ahead if you have a good plan of action.
Pre-divorce planning is not about taking your spouse for all you can. It’s about making smart choices with a clear mind. It involves carefully planning out all aspects of your life from where you are now to where you would like to be. It requires methodical preparation in the months leading up to informing your spouse you want a divorce. The more you plan, the better your position will be in your post-divorce life. Below are a few areas to start thinking about.
Finances: If you’re expecting alimony and child support to take care of your finances after a divorce, you might be in for a big surprise. Most men will fight to keep as much money as they can. This battle can result in you having a shortage of money to make ends meet after your divorce.
Career: The best way to avoid financial ruin is to make your career plans a top priority. If you’re already working but your income won’t be enough when you’re single, start re-planning your career. If that involves career counseling, re-training or going back to school, do it now while you can. Any money spent in this area will be considered joint money and not deducted from your settlement. The key, however, is doing it before you ask for a divorce.
Children: If you’re a parent, you need to be prepared for how to tell-your-kids-about-the-divorce. In doing so, you also need to learn ways to help them cope and to understand how their lives will be impacted.
Support System: News of a divorce can create different reactions in your friends and family. Some people will feel threatened and fear their marriages will be at risk if they interact with you. Others, the unconditional friends, will be there no matter what. Knowing who belongs in this category is important. Those will be the people to turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on.
Future Goals: Divorce can be devastating. It’s the end of once-held goals that are now gone. Because of this, it’s very easy to get sucked into an emotional black hole of depression. The best remedy is to create new goals for your future. Take the time to consider your interests, desires and what you’d like to do with the rest of your life. Having something positive and productive to work toward will make a big difference in your emotional life.
There are many aspects to consider when planning for a life without your spouse. Instead of hoping the best will happen, take control and make sure you’re protected. If you need help making sense of it all, The Divorce Help Clinic is here for you.
Bio: Nancy Fagan is the founder of The Divorce Help Clinic™ (divorce planning & divorce mediation services), a Huffington Post divorce writer and author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Romance" (Macmillan Publishing) and "Desirable Men: How to Find Them" (Prima Publishing). As a nationally recognized divorce and relationship expert, dubbed "The Divorce Reporter," she has appeared on countless television and radio shows, and quoted in national magazines and popular On-line publications since 1997. In addition, she is considered a pioneer in the field of pre- divorce planning and frequently sought out to speak on the topic. Nancy holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology with extensive training in divorce mediation and alternative dispute resolution. To learn more, visit TheDivorceHelpClinic.com.
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Disclaimer: Legal Information Is Not Legal Advice. The Divorce Help Clinic provides information about the law designed to help you safely cope with your own legal needs. Legal information is not the same as legal advice--the application of law to an individual's specific circumstances. Although we go to great lengths to make sure our information is accurate and useful, we recommend you consult a lawyer if you want professional assurance that our information, and your interpretation of it, is appropriate to your particular situation.
